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Okay, then!

Go voters! It's your birthday.

Let's drink some Barcardi!

'Nuff said.

Will tonight give us hope?

So, the new movie on Bobby Kennedy is previewing tonight here in Portland, but I didn't get tickets. And MM is home sick, so she didn't get any.

If you know me very well, you know RFK is one of my Life Icons.

And on Election Day here in the U.S., I can't help thinking of him. I always wonder how things might have changed in this country if he hadn't died. Maybe nothing would have changed. Or maybe everything. Maybe his own family wouldn't have ended up going so awry out of anger and despair. Maybe Ted wouldn't have had so much pressure. Maybe Bobby's kids wouldn't have been so screwed up.

Maybe.

I hope this country has a little sense this year, faced with a ridiculous war, gas prices we never could have dreamed of even a few years ago, and more and more idiot evangelist leaders and politicians having to admit their 'sins.'

I wish I had more hope. But after nearly two administrations of Bush and his cohorts, I've pretty much given up on the basic intelligence or humanity of the American people. Last election it was all about stopping gay marriage. And who gave a damn how many of our soldiers died in Iraq or how many out-and-out lies we knew we were being told.

Mistress Marilyn continually reminds me that having the Demos take over the House or the Senate isn't all that meaningful. After all, the Demos had control of the Senate when Clarence Thomas was confirmed as a Supreme Court judge, the single most powerful act a president can perform.

Still---

Anyway, I did my part. I voted. I have always voted in major elections since I turned 18, and I hope I always perform this important responsibility. If you can't bother to vote, why live here? I firmly believe non-voters should be charged higher taxes or something along those lines. It's infuriating to me that so many people my age and younger don't bother to be informed enough to make a choice (regardless of what that choice is). The argument that "it doesn't affect me" is just bullshit. It affects everything -- our taxes, our wages, our benefits, our rights, our Moral Conscience, not to mention the safety of our soldiers.

(And anybody who thinks the Saddam Hussein verdict wasn't timed to happen before the election is just naive.)

So, in other important news, Britney filed for divorce from the unfortunately procreative K-Fed. Any bets on whether Britney voted?

The Rains

It's been raining nonstop for days, and it's supposed to continue raining for weeks. Amazing how it can go from a relatively normal place to this wet, depressing prison. Don't know if I can take it. I need to go somewhere for the winter, and what's stopping me?

I miss too many people around here (LJ, that is). What the hell happened to them? What happened to me, for that matter. I miss the fanfic.

So, now Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Houser) is gay. Seems like somebody comes out every week or so.

Good dirt being posted on the spying list. Jesus, people are pathetic.

And, once again, it's time to vote. Wonder what will come of it this time.

What year is it?

Just spent the last 45 minutes clearing out all the shit in my email. I get so much spam now ("sweeter tasting sperm"??!!), it maxes out my box within a week, then I start bouncing. (It's so nice to have all those 'fans' out there who have screwed me over with their viruses and shit. You know who you are.)

I've had to go on no messages for most of my Yahoo Groups now, since I don't have a regular connection now and I only get on line when I'm mooching (which I'm really good at).

Anyway, it may have been months since I posted at LJ, but I'm still alive. I'm bummed that winter's on the way, and I may just pack up and move to a warmer climate for a few months. Anything could happen. But in the meantime, I'm just hanging, working and living. Same shit, different day.

Forcing myself --

So, I just forced myself to clean out my email and once again had to reactivate my Yahoo email. I get so much spam now that it clogs my free email constantly. And I'm too cheap to pay for my email, much less my LJ.

I slept on the couch at Charlie and MM's, then got up and helped MM water the flowers this morning. They stayed up most of the night working on mood themes (which are very cool), but I was able to post my Hart's War fic at the Colin slash lists and reply to actual feedback I got on my American Outlaws fic (!!!!!).

I think I'll get a sponsored journal or pay for a couple months so I can use the Rafa mood theme. I gotta have that one!

I haven't seen much of these guys lately, what with all the tennis and shit. (It was one thing to watch it. It's another entirely now that they're playing all the time. There's tennis on TV right this minute, and seemingly every minute.) Anyway, MM's vacation comes up pretty soon, so maybe we can do a few things. I tried to get them to go to Snakes on a Plane Thursday night, but MM was too beat.

Wtf with this JonBenet Ramsey stalker/killer/freak?! Is this the real thing or just a big waste of time?

We're having great summer weather, hot and dry. I love it.

So, at long last Lance . . .

So Lance went from wearing a banana suit on national TV to finally admitting he's gay?!

(And why did these things have to happen only a couple months apart . . .)

Maybe it's finally time to get over what a complete tool Lance was about the damn astronaut thing.

I guess the thing that impresses me the most in all this is that Joey Fatone is a decent guy and a real friend to Lance. Glad Lance has good pals the way I have since I came out.

Sockpuppets, get a new story--

How the hell many of you sockpuppets think you can get away with all these excuses for not having access to the internet . . . your computer crashed, you're traveling, your computer crashed, you've taken a new job and you can't use the computer at work, your computer crashed, your husband has discovered your LJ and you have to cool it, your computer crashed. It just goes on and on.

You've been too sick to post. You've been too depressed to post. You've been too busy to post.

Yeah, right. You've been too busy working on other sockpuppets in other fandoms to post -- let's get that straight.

In reality there are only about a hundred fans out there with dozens of sockpuppets each. And some of them have all the time in the world and have hundreds. I'm getting overwhelmed by the whole thing, even while I remain fascinated. I can't believe how fucking GOOD at this a few of you are.

(And on a totally unrelated subject, what the hell is this "restore from saved draft" that seems to remember my last post. Since when does LJ remember anything you posted or were about to post?)

Finished!

Yes! I finished my 'Hart's War' fanfic -- nearly 17,000 words of the damn thing! (I owe a huge thanks to Charlie and Marilyn, as usual, and to Nik nk_seashore for doing the final edit and for making the banner.)

So for the past hour I've been breaking it into parts and loading it into my fanfic journal. And now I wish I hadn't broken it into five parts. I'm thinking I'd rather have it be two parts, my optimum length for a story. I just can't decide.

So for now I'm leaving it as is and just not putting it up anywhere. When I get ready I'll post it at the rare slash community and the Colin Farrell fanfic community.

It turned out better than expected, and the best thing about it is I showed myself I could be dedicated and disciplined about writing a story.

Now I'm ready to work on my John Smith fantasy about him getting it on with Jared the Nature Boy. That will be much easier and more fun, no doubt. But I did download a shitload of Smiths' journals a couple weeks ago so I could get the flavor of his writing.

ETA: Guess I should put in a frigging link to "Tommy's Peace"!

Where did this ambition come from?

So, I started out to write maybe a 2500-word 'Hart's War' fic. Even though I started researching the damn thing around three years ago, I figured just getting it written would be good enough, getting some sex in there, some lovey-dovey shit maybe, some flavor of WWII.

And the next thing I know, I have the Mistress partnering with me on a bunch of research, and I'm writing and writing and wanting to write even more. It's more than 7500 words already.

Then I'm doing something really unbelievable. I'm actually OUTLINING the damn story like it's something really important, like MM does with shit like her elves story or one of her mpregs.

Jesus.

Anyway, I'm still enjoying writing the thing. I just did a few revisions, moving some stuff around, making stuff happen on days consistent with the action in the movie. I just have no idea where all this ambition came from. It's completely out of character.

(At least I'm still lazy about writing in LJ!)

Yeah, fandom is nuts--

Sure, I'm more happy each and every day that I'm not into Harry Potter fandom. Because I spent about a half hour trying to read a chapter or two of the whole Msscribe manifesto, wondering what the hell it's all about. And then I was pissed for wasting even a moment of my life, as it is, to read and wonder.

What is it with fans? I used to think the really insane ones were into the popslash, boyband stuff. But I now realize the teenie wars were innocent and harmless compared to the total b.s. that exists in places like HP and *shudder* ViggoOrli and other places I won't bother to name.

Life is too goddamn short for this shit.

I'm not sure I even describe myself as a "fan" anymore.

But, in the meantime, I've recovered from Pride weekend and I'm doing very well on my 'Hart's War' fic. I may even finish it this week. And now I'm suddenly regretting the story is set in canon HW (the trial and its aftermath) and not more alternate reality so it could be a series.

On the other hand, since I've only finished one 'series' in my relatively brief six-year fanfic career, it's just as well.